Hope After Loss: Baby Steps

Well, I ended two weeks ago in July. We were beginning what would become quite the journey. July quickly turned into January and after many suggestions, we decided to reach out to a reproductive endocrinologist. We were able to get an appointment way quicker than I thought. Jan 19th, 2023 was our first appointment.
I know we say so often God is silent, but have you ever felt like God was yelling, just to make sure you heard him? Well, I did! He wasn’t yelling like he was mad, he just simply was the loudest in my life during this part of the story than ever before.

Walking into that appointment that day felt like walking directly into a brick wall. We met with the doctor who gave a few reasons for what could have been causing our miscarriages. We then went in for an ultrasound that was completely normal. After the ultrasound, we went and met with a financial advisor. We were told right away the cost of everything we would go through and presented the cost of IVF. Let me tell you I am not at all exaggerating when I tell you we were told medication would be about $15,000 and one round of IVF would cost about $45,000. Talk about a big brick wall.

Honestly, IVF was not the reason we walked in there. I was getting pregnant every 6 months before this, so I really couldn’t get a solid answer as to why IVF would make a difference in my miscarriages. We decided we would go through the additional testing they recommended. We were told the testing could indicate a reason.

On March 16th, I walked into that clinic for an HSG. If you don’t know what it is, it’s a test to make sure your fallopian tubes are open and the egg can pass through easily. I was prepared for a 20-30-minute test. Not a big deal at all. I felt sure this wasn’t an issue because again, I had been pregnant twice since losing my right tube. I went into the room, got prepped, and the doctor walked in. She was in the room for a total of 10 mins, 5 of those being the procedure. She looked at me and said ” I knew it. Your left tube is blocked. You need to call your OB, schedule surgery to have it removed, and then we’ll move forward with IVF.” She then walked out of the room.

I was floored. I was so angry, hurt, sad, and mostly confused. She took no time to answer questions and she didn’t explain anything. I was honestly just a number on her schedule that day. It was the moment I decided regardless of what she just told me, I would never step foot back in that office.
When I got home, I told Brice the news and we cried. We took a minute to just sit in the news we were given. We decided we could call my ob, make an appointment with her, and go from there.

That next morning my devotion was as clear as day. It talked about not taking things into our own hands, just to rush our desires. God has a perfect plan on his perfect timeline if we just trust Him. I felt like God yelled at me, “Do not do IVF.”
Now, I do not think there is a problem with IVF. I’m not against IVF. I simply feel God told me it’s not a part of my story, at this time.

We followed up with my OB who stated she disagreed with what was said about my left tube. She said she felt like we should wait until July. If I wasn’t pregnant by July she would do surgery. If my tube was closed, she would remove it at that time.
If I’m honest, that didn’t sit well with me either. I’ve already had one ectopic which put me at an increased risk for a second one. If I were to have another one, that would for sure mean IVF was our only option.

We continued to try and I just kept praying God would protect me and my tube. During this time, I also just started researching a hydrosalpinx and what my options were. This led me to a local doctor whose office was 5 minutes from my house. She specialized in a program called NAPROtechnology.

This was the turning point in our fertility story. When God gives you a promise, cling tight to it. I can’t wait to tell you next week just how perfectly everything aligned for us starting in June.