Hope After Loss: Baby Steps

If you google the definition of the word mother you will get two different things. The word is a noun and a verb. Mother as a noun: a woman in relation to her child or children. Mother as a verb: bring up (a child) with care and affection. To some people, a mother is simply the person who birthed them. I am blessed to say my mom is all the above. She birthed me, has a relationship with me, and raised me with immense amounts of affection.

The memories I have with my mother are all amazing. Endless shopping trips, Starbucks runs, and weekend trips, whatever we can do to spend my daddy’s money! 

My mom is my biggest fan. I remember the first time I wore makeup and my brothers tried to pick on me, she quickly put them in their place. Dance, baseball, softball, cheerleading, it didn’t matter what sport I was participating in, she was there to support me. Now, the battles are bigger but she’s still right there, cheering me on! 

My mom lights up a room. She doesn’t even understand the power she has to make people laugh. She’s just funny. She’s beautiful inside and out. If she ever hurts your feelings I can 99.9% guarantee you, she didn’t mean to, unless you were talking about one of her babies. 

My mom is proud of us (me and my brothers) and she reminds us often. 

I truly love Mother’s Day. Since battling recurrent miscarriage and infertility people assume it’s a dreadful holiday, but it’s not. I may hurt on this day, but to me, this day is about celebrating my mother. It will always be about celebrating my mother. I trust one day I will celebrate with my children, but my mom will STILL matter.

Honestly, one day out of 365 isn’t enough. 

Mom, I hope you always know just how much I love you. Despite your constant belief that “she’s a daddy’s girl” I’m a momma’s girl, too. 

I know I’ve said it before, but if I’m half the mom you are, I’ll be proud. You have shown my brothers and me exactly what it means to love. 

If I never become an earthly mom I will still know the love between a mother and child. For that, I am forever grateful.