It’s going to be July

We’re picking right back up where we left off two weeks ago!

I returned to work after two weeks of recovering. Life essentially went back to “normal.” I’m just going to highlight a few moments over the next couple of months that I remember standing out.

One of the toughest parts of loss is that you always feel like something is missing. It does not matter how long you carry a child, from the moment you find out you are pregnant, they become a part of you. Before I found out my pregnancy was an ectopic, I had planned photos for a Christmas card. I remember being so angry because I felt like it was dumb to take photos for a Christmas card when pieces of my family were missing. However, after lots of prayer, God reminded me that my family was exactly what He intended it to be, for that moment. Brice and I got ready and we took photos with our two dogs. If you have never taken photos with dogs, try it! It’s fun! Those photos now bring me great joy.

That February we got to spend so much time with my nieces. As I stated previously, my sister-in-law was pregnant with twins. I was blessed to be working a job PRN at that time, which meant I worked when I wanted to, so I was the lucky one who got to keep my older nieces. Heather went in for an appointment and was sent to the hospital earlier than we expected. The girls spent a whole week with us. It was honestly so much fun! They bring so much joy into my life.

During this time, one morning I was in the bathroom getting them ready and doing their hair. The oldest one asked me if I wanted a baby. At this time we had not openly discussed my losses with her. I did not want her little mind to have to comprehend what I had been through. I answered her and said, “Well we’re praying about it.” I will never forget her response. She said, ” Well keep praying. It just takes Him some time to customize him.” I laughed and said you are right sweet girl. She then followed it by, “It’s going to be July”. I said, “Okay girl!” (stay tuned for the rest of that story)

The twins decided not to make their arrival until March. We had another week to love on the big girls. When I tell you God is in control of every detail, I mean it. There is no doubt in my mind that keeping those big girls kept me going through rough months. God’s timing is ALWAYS perfect. Then, I was able to meet and love on the newest editions of our family. The twins brought me so much joy. Being able to hold them and love on them was so healing for my heart.

The next couple of months I spent time surrounded by friends and family. I made sure to do all the things that brought me joy. I think sometimes you almost feel guilty for finding joy after loss. There is a part of you that feels like if you’re happy, you have forgotten your child. That isn’t at all the case. You can absolutely be happy and live your life to the fullest while always remembering your babies. God intended for us to remain joyful during our trials. He uses those moments to be the greatest part of your testimony.

Five months after my ectopic in December, I was given the opportunity to speak at my church on Mother’s Day Sunday. Three women spoke; my grandmother, me, and my friend Katie. My grandmother shared her testimony of making it through losing a child in their 20s, I spoke about the losses I had endured, and Katie shared her story of loss and redemption through Christ. I think it was a powerful Sunday morning and that God healed hearts and renewed hope. If you need to be encouraged, please watch it. (button below)

If you are not aware this week is National Infertility Awareness Week. It’s a week to share your story and show support to those around you battling infertility.

1 in 6 are impacted by infertility. I am blessed to have 4 children in heaven however, we are now in year 2 of being unable to conceive. Take time this week to pray. Pray that couples battling infertility feel God’s love. Pray that insurance does more for infertility. Pray for legislators who make big decisions regarding reproductive health. Pray that women feel empowered to advocate for themselves on this journey. Show love to those around battling infertility this week. Wear orange on Wednesday. Post your pictures to social media. #WearOrange2024 #LeaveYourMark2024

As I’ve previously stated God gave me this story for a reason. To glorify Him. I fully trust He is still writing it, but I will continue to praise Him through the journey.